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‘Me Time’ for Mom

Submitted by on January 23, 2013 – 6:23 pmOne Comment

Me Time for Mom

Making Time for YOU is Essential to Good Parenting

By Amy Egan

When we are pregnant, have a new baby, and into the child’s toddlerhood, we  have to put our little one’s needs before our own. We put ourselves on the back burner–a necessary sacrifice we are often happy to make. Then, once our kids are about two years old, they tend to have not only needs, but wants, and lots of them.  It becomes so important around this time to make sure  we are fitting in some ‘me time’ for mom. Taking care of ourselves comes in many forms; getting our nails done, having dates with our spouse (especially important!), nurturing our social relationships and interests as well as having firm boundaries with our kids.

If you wonder what the benefits to our kids are by taking care of ourselves, check out a few I have listed below:

  • parents with firm boundaries tend to have children who have boundaries with others
  • parents who take good care of themselves tend to have kids who take good care of themselves
  • kids have more respect for parents who don’t put themselves last
  • filling our own tanks ensures we have the energy to take care of others
  • it is healthy to have a life outside of our children
  • kids raised with parents who put them first, grow up to be teens with entitlement issues

We have probably all realized at some point in our lives that we needed to do more for ourselves.  Yet, sometimes the lack of adequate self-care goes unnoticed until we find ourselves feeling some of these warning signs:  feelings of fatigue, depression, dread  or just plain resentful of others.  When we become aware that we are totally depleted, we can, and need to make changes that allow us to do things for ourselves. There is no award for martyrdom! Doing for ourselves at this point becomes essential.

Having boundaries with your kids may be something you never considered  as  vital to taking care of yourself.   But, consider this; without boundaries our children will get much more from us than they truly need and more from us than we ought to give. Loose boundaries with our children is bad for them and bad for us. There is no award for being a pushover!  In fact, being a pushover is detrimental for all.

So, I encourage you to do for yourself.  Spending time doing things that you love to do, finding joy in everyday living, and looking forward to things on your calendar are all ways to nourish yourself.  When our self is nourished we are better mothers, wives, friends and workers. Our immune systems function optimally. We feel more positive and in-turn, take even better care of ourselves. We tend to spiral upward.

So don’t feel guilty about scheduling some ‘me time’ for yourself! Read that book, sign up for that class, take that bike ride, have lunch with friends, get the massage, see the movie with your spouse, and enjoy! You are doing something positive for your entire family.

Amy Egan - Ask Amy Column - North Texas KidsAmy Egan is a certified coach and a trained facilitator of the Love and Logic (TM) parenting programs. She is available for private parent and life coaching, parenting courses and workshops, and speaking engagements. She and her husband are the parents of two teenagers and get many opportunities to practice what Amy teaches! You can contact Amy at  a.egan518@sbcglobal.net

 

 

 

 

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