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Mom’s Dealing with Depression: What’s Really Bothering You?

Submitted by on March 27, 2016 – 6:14 amNo Comment

How to Handle Everyday Ups & Downs

Depression: Tips on Dealing with Everyday Ups & Downs

Like everybody else in the world we moms have our ups and downs.  Some days we are feeling good….other days—not so much. No explanation, we just can’t seem to get out of our funk.  Now before I go any further, I certainly understand that there are medical explanations for some of our mental conditions, chemical imbalances and neurological processes.  However, I am talking about those days (or maybe even weeks) where you feel just, BLAH!  Before we think the worse or label it depression I suggest that we use this time to run a self audit. Self-audits are a great way to clearly identify the “real” issue you are facing, reclaim your power over it and make a plan to come out of it.

As moms we always seem to be multitasking.  Between the children, significant other, work, friends, family, over-committing, not asking for help, staying up to late, getting up early, etc, we are clearly burning ourselves out.  Is it possible our bodies have gone into self-preservation mode and the notable shift in our mood is an indication to “pay attention” to ourselves?  Up until that point it is obvious we haven’t slowed down enough to give our body what it needs.  What if the same issue was happening with our child(ren)?  What advice would we give them?  What directives would you insist upon to help them feel better?  What ways would you care for them?  If you’re like me then there is nothing you wouldn’t do for your children and would jump at the first opportunity to share with them anything you thought would help them out of a rut.

Now let’s flip that—why aren’t you doing the same thing for yourself?  Is it possible that your self neglect is a learned behavior? Quite possibly.  The good news is, you can change that.  You can learn new behaviors and share your journey with your kids. Show them how to slow down, learn to say no and take better care of themselves.  If your children are still young you have the opportunity to start them off with a more balanced example of how to better care for themselves and their well-being.  Take the time to give YOURSELF the same tender loving care you would provide to your child.  Care enough about YOU to find out what’s going on with you….on a deeper level.

Here are 3 tips on how to identify and move beyond “what’s really bothering you”:

1. Clearly Identify the issue:  A good way to do this is to focus by meditating. Meditation is an opportunity for you to commune with your spirit.  During this time you should cut yourself off from the “outside noise” of your life and find a quiet space to dwell on you (yes I said you!).  According to WebMD, “….[meditation] It is a popular and proven form of stress relief and relaxing.  Meditation seeks to focus your thoughts and gives you more clarity and awareness.” Set your intention BEFORE you go into your meditation to accelerate awareness and find out what it is that is longing for your attention.  Here are some examples of some questions you can ask as you go into meditation:

  • How can I take better care of myself, now?
  • Why am I feeling this way?
  • What should I be doing now?
  • What should I do next?
  • How I can I best take care of myself?
  • What is it that I really want?
  • What do I need to be more aware of?

2. Reclaim your power:  Have you ever heard the old adage, “Knowledge is power”?  There is absolute truth to this statement.  What I know for sure is that when you know what issue it is that you are facing—you will find yourself better able to equip and deal with it.  When you find yourself prepared to deal with whatever you are coming up against you feel empowered and more compelled to do whatever is necessary to resolve it.  Meditation provides a great medium to expose whatever it is that is ‘bothering’ you and provides you with an opportunity to reclaim your power over it.

3. Make a plan to come out of it:  Now that you have identified what is REALLY bothering you…you have to muster up the courage and resolve to do WHATEVER it takes in order to be well.  Here are some solutions that I have used for the women in my program:

  • Write down your goal.  It helps you to visualize and makes you more accountable.
  • Say affirmations daily.  Find, create, read and/or memorize affirmations that fortify you when times get tough; for when your neurological pathways begin to operate off of your memory (old paradigm) and default you into counter-productive thoughts and behavior.  Affirmations are pivotal in changing your thought pattern.
  • Learn how to say NO to others and YES to you.  This may be somewhat difficult for you to do, in the beginning, especially if you are a people pleaser. However, it is imperative that you set boundaries around your time if you are to successfully reclaim your power.

While I am not making any proclamations for or against the Western medical philosophy, I stand by what has worked for me and many other women I have encountered and mentored over the years.  I believe that if you try the above mentioned methodology you can successfully come out of your rut and reduce the number of recurrences going forward.  Remember, every emotion is your body is urging you to pay attention—calling you forth to a greater expression of who you came to be.

YOU are your own best advocate!

Sherlyn DorseySherlyn Dorsey is a motivational speaker and life mentor with over 14 years of experience in public speaking, mentoring and personal development. She holds a Masters Degree in Business Administration, Masters Degree in Human Resource Management and a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Sociology/Psychology. Sherlyn has been a keynote speaker at school districts, universities, national organizations, spiritual centers, local talk-shows, iRadio Shows, conferences, etc.  She is also the creator of the national conference “Women of Power: You’re More than their Mother” and “Women of Power BUSINESS Conference”. To learn more about Sherlyn, visit her website at http://www.sherlyndorsey.com/. If you enjoyed this article and want more tools and resources like this, visit Sherlyn’s blog at www.ymttm.com.

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