It’s Tough to Stand Firm!

Mom Standing Firm with Son

Standing Firm with Your Kids is Hard, but Better for the Long Run

 

When our children are young, we get many opportunities to stand firm over things like candy before dinner, screen time limits and their begging for stuff.  Even though these are simple things, it can be rough on us to remain firm. After all, it’s painful to endure the ensuing responses whether they be disappointed looks or all out melt-downs. But deep within our souls we realize we must remain strong. We may not always act on that knowledge, but there is long term payoff each time we do stand firm.

When my children were young, I had shortsighted vision about standing firm. I guess when I stayed strong it was because I felt it was best for my child not to have whatever it was they were begging for at the time. I don’t think I was giving lots of thought to the practice I was getting for when they were older. I now have the hind sight to share with others what holding firm is really all about, long-term.

Saying ‘no’ when you know you should tells your child that she has a strong parent, you love her enough to set and enforce limits and helps her to learn delayed gratification as well as resilience. Another great thing about standing firm is that you are modeling inner strength for your child. When you do not cave to her pressure, she is less likely to cave to peer pressure later on.

Is Your Family Overscheduled?

Overscheduled Child

Seek Balance with Kids Activities

 

by Kerrie McLoughlin

It makes my head spin to think about how overscheduled some families are these days: school, afterschool care, homework, dinner, sports or dance once a week, swim lessons or another activity twice a week, games, birthday parties and campouts on weekends. The range of extracurricular activities available to children today is mind-blowing, but of course we want our kids to have everything. But Jill Connors, mom of five, says, “I know friends whose kids are in school that are so scheduled that anytime they are home they are ‘bored.’”

So where’s the time for fort building, skateboarding, cops-and-robbers and other free activities that let a kid’s imagination run wild? Dad Jeff Pearlman is outraged by this overscheduling dilemma and wrote in a piece on CNN.com, “Kids are gifted with 18 years of childhood. … Yes, I want mine to do well in school, and learn the virtues of compassion and empathy and hard work. But I also aspire for them to jump on our trampoline until their legs sag from exhaustion, and ride their bikes up and down the street, … and chase down the ice cream man and watch in amazement as the pink petals fall from our cherry blossom tree.”

Teaching Our Son to Go the Distance

Showing Our Kids the Value of Hard Work and Saving Money

by Lorraine Brock

Over the course of the last two years our middle son Caleb has been saving money for a car. It’s sort of a requirement in our home that our boys invest some of their own blood, sweat, and tears into such an important purchase.

All of our boys have had active schedules through their teen years including a choice to play competitive football. Our oldest son decided to stop playing his junior year, so he was able to secure a part-time job that allowed him to earn and save money for the past four years.