Don’t just ignore your troubled teen!

darlena mckenna, troubled teens

Keep talking to your troubled teen about their behavior — Don’t give up!

 

by Darlene McKenna, author of The Change

Is your teenage daughter or son just going through the normal stuff, or is it more?  Do they listen to you when they do something wrong, or do they simply repeat the bad behavior?  Are they staying out all night or not even coming home?  Do you even know where they are?   As a parent, do you find yourself tired and sick of all the battles?  Have you just had enough and do you find yourself ignoring your troubled teenager?

As a former troubled teen, I would like to share some insight on this question. I became difficult and I never listened to my mom.  It started with small stuff, like getting into fights and stealing things from her.  Before you knew it, I was out all night around a fire pit drinking.  Even the kids that I was hanging out with would say, “Darlene, you fell flat on your face last night.  Maybe you shouldn’t drink as much tonight.”  I didn’t care, and I would just go get another beer.

Why was I drinking so much?  I was listening to a negative voice in my head that I now refer to as the “bad guy.”  The bad guy would begin to whisper things in my head, like “Why are you such a loser?  Everyone has a boyfriend, except for you.  No one likes you.  Everyone is prettier than you.”  I was tough and I tried to ignore the voice.  My goal was to be cool and I knew I needed a boyfriend!

Raising Emotionally Healthy Children: Feeling Important

Why Kids Needs to Feel Important

Second in a Series of Articles on Raising Emotionally Healthy Children

Guest Post from The Children’s Project

Read the first article in this series: Respect

Another critical emotional need of children is to feel important.  Feeling important refers to a child’s need to feel: “I have value.  I am useful.  I have power.  I am somebody.”  The following are examples of how parents obstruct or enhance a child’s need to feel Important.

7 Ways to Raise a Good Listener

Raising a Good Listener

7 Tips on How to Make Kids Listen

Ask moms how to raise a good listener, and you’ll be met with a variety of responses. Some, like Eva Gavin, will laugh out loud and say, “If you write about kids who ignore their parents all the time, I’m your woman.” Others may tell you they have it all together and that their children always listen to them and do everything they say (don’t trust these women!).

So many of us are at a loss when it comes to teaching listening skills. Parents are busier than ever, and that can sometimes make it difficult to just stop and listen to our children. Yet making sure you raise your child to be a good listener is crucial for many reasons. For example, he needs to be able to follow directions at school, in college and at a job. He also needs the practiced skill of listening to make and keep friends, snag a spouse and deal with a variety of people in everyday life.

So how do you become one of those moms whose children don’t tune her out?