All children love to engage parents in power struggles at one time or another, but they commonly end up being no-win situations as the parent and child each vie for power.
During power struggles with their children, parents usually feel angry, drained, and helpless, wondering if they are the only parents who can’t seem to control their child.
By Amy Egan
Recently, I have been coaching a mother whose six-year-old daughter has a lot of control in their home. Due to the nature of their personalities, both parents were allowing this to go on because they saw it as being better than any conflict that ensued when Meg was not given her way. Naturally, life had gotten very uncomfortable for all three of them. To start with, we worked out a plan to help get Mom and Dad back in charge of the situation. Things like not arguing with Meg, setting a limit once and following through with a consequence, not minding when Meg got really upset with them, all helped tremendously. And while both parents were thrilled with the improvements and new-found harmony within the family, Mom was still puzzled by Meg’s almost constant attempts to control her mother.
Our work together then went on to the next layer of the onion, and here is what popped up.
